to quote a famous song.
What is it that is coming back to me now, you ask? My old self! Growing up I was always the super happy person. Always smiling, no matter what. Don't get me wrong. I am still very happy. Just that super happy feeling has not been a constant in quite a while. We have dealt with a lot of ups and downs in our marriage and are currently in a down again. Not with each other, but with factors outside of what we can control. But even when those downs turn back into ups, I haven't been back to that constant super happy.
It has bothered me not being like that any more. Many thoughts have run through my head as to what contributes to it. One thing I know that I need to fix is finding a church home. I found one when we moved to Plano, but didn't go like I should and then we moved. I have recently started researching again, but not putting an effort into going and visiting like I should. Just a few here and there. I use everything with our busy life as an excuse for why I haven't done it. I need to make those things wait and start going.
I had figured out some time ago what really has effected my mood change, but due to pure laziness and desire I haven't faced it. The main thing is I am no longer a teenager! I can not eat like one! I also have to actually make an effort to be active and exercise! I have put on quite a bit of weight in the past few years. Part of it is just getting older and my body changing, another is married life, and the last is due to happenings post surgery. Before the surgery I had already put on more weight than I liked just due to growing up. I was just starting to workout and get control of things when BAM! tumor appears. Side effects after kept me inactive almost immobile for a few weeks. It also effected my taste. I suddenly had a constant sour taste in my mouth on the left side (just thinking about it makes it come back). So I ate often to try and cover it up. And then the things that did taste good were super bad for you. Fattening, fried, or sugary. So that set me up for a bad habit and a lot more pounds gained.
I had read that exercising put you in a better mood, and found this to somewhat be true back before the holidays when I was doing good at walking/exercising. I had fallen off that wagon though. I just wasn't getting enough results in the weight or happy departments to keep me going strong. 2 weeks ago yesterday I saw something on T.V. that changed things. I caught the end of a show that had two woman talking about their book. I can't remember the name, but it was a cookbook for better eating. They were also giving tips. One was for a quick tummy reducer. They said for 2 weeks cut out sugar. Obviously this is hard to do since almost everything has sugar. But just really watch how much is in things and cut out sugary snacks, deserts, drinks, and so forth. So I decided to try it. I carry a lot of my weight in my belly and am very conscious of it. The first few days I did it I felt really off. Like I might pass out any minute. Then we had Easter, which is when Larry's mom's family has their family reunion. And passing up on desert just wasn't happening. I took a large amount of desert, but only one. And really it wasn't huge. I noticed though I felt a lot better. So I changed my plan. I didn't cut sugar out completely, but really started paying attention to how much was in things and chose more things that had A LOT less sugar. I am also paying more attention to when I am hungry. Am I wanting food, or a drink, and what time is it? I also noticed that as I eat I become more hungry and when I finish my meal am instantly craving a desert. I have started eating smaller amounts of things at meals and force myself to wait a little bit after eating my main meal to see if I am truly wanting that something sweet. And if I do I make better choices.
This week I have also been a lot more active. I have done a ton of work outside around the house. And Holly and I are now walking most evenings. I took a rest today due to all the rough work the past days, but most week day mornings I do a work out or go walking.
My point to all this: Tonight I was at the computer just poking around until time to go on my walk with Holly when I noticed I was in the super happy mood and I couldn't figure out what had me in it. I had just had a super rough time making dinner. I have bills to deal with, and my hubby is not home and probably won't be for a number more days. So what has me so happy? Oh yeah, this is that feeling I had been hunting for. Constant Super Happy. Thinking about it I realized he had been trying to push his way in for the past few days. I could kind of feel it. WELCOME BACK OLD FRIEND! AND I HOPE YOU STAY AROUND FOR A WHILE! To help I am going to continue my work outs and especially my new eating habits that really aren't too different other than I am learning to take control of the sweet tooth. And I noticed sugar fills me up a lot faster now.
Bonus: I've lost 10 pounds in the last two weeks!!!